everyone hates me. i don't know why. i give my best but it's never enough. at this point i don't know what i should do to please people. i get mocked by my family for doing or wearing what i like. they are also very fatphobic. they always talk about weight and how fat or skinny someone has gotten. it triggers the shit out of me. i am currently not sittin with them. i know for a fact that they dislike me. as well as my "friends". they always leave me on read and daniela doesn't want me to have a boyfriend. i don't know why it's bothering her. she can get one too. i feel like she is jealous or something. it made me cry. the reason of my breakdowns are my friends honestly. they deifted apart from me. i only had them. they hate me. they are closer than with me and i got replaced,,, again. i always get replaced. maybe i'm not not good enough. it's never enough. never. never. i am this close to cry my fucking eyes out. i never feel good. and when i do it's because of my beanie. i feel fat and ugly. i can't stop snacking. i hate food. i hate everything. i just want to feel okay again. i thought having a boyfriend would cure everything. now i have one. i love him. i doubt everything once again. he loves me, i guess? well, i don't know. i don't know what i feel. it's ok. i will love him even if he doesn't love me back. i hate this. my friends hate me. my family hates me. i hate myself. i think god still likes me. i will start praying tomorrow. i don't know where it all went wrong. i hate it here. i am an introvert trapped in hell. i am suffering since the beginning of quarantine 2020. i cant take it anymore. i hate it. people make me hate myself.