Everyday i think about you all the time, but considering my age, its too difficult to know if its just part of me growing up. I wish to talk to you personally but, I'm just too nervous to talk to you. I liked you so much that, the only memories i kept were only you. I'm scared and worry, that I've become addicted to you. Your like a dr*g that just never seems to stop feeding me. I've tried everything, but you make me cry and scream in tears just thinking about you. You caused many traumas to me, and I'm still the one saying sorry. When can I let go, when you keep showing up in my dreams. You are scaring me, but I still.. like you. And I want to let go, but its like you are still hanging onto my heart. I want you to get out of my head, out of my life and out of my world. I tried forgetting and removing you out of brain and my heart. But you keep coming back. When I started to wonder about my sexuality, I kept saying that I was straight, until I said that i was a lesbian. But, I still had feelings for you, I was rocking back and forth on what I am. Now I don't know what to do. You have driven me all the way to su*ide, because I was scared I wasn't pretty like my friends or wasn't skinny or more social to others. My friends told me that he was the jerk that ruined my life, but I said that he was also the jerk who made me smile. I listened to my friends, and tried to forget. But everyday, In the morning I seem like I have given up already, at night I cry in thoughts of you. I really hope we can talk one last time before I let go.