Dear, mom & dad you both keep telling me to treat him kinder and stop being rude. You yell and argue and tell me how disappointed you are in me for not treating him like family. You say all this stuff so much it makes me wonder if you're too blind to see the signs I've been giving you or you see them and care about him more than me. Do you know what he did to me when I was 12? Do you know how much he touched me? Do you know how I had to stop myself from tearing my skin off? I thought the feeling of his hands would be gone if I tore the skin away. I wonder if you saw a change in me when it happened. Maybe you saw how I hated people touching me or maybe how I started covering up when he was around. Anything did you notice anything? I feel like you only noticed how I refused to be near him and instead of realizing that maybe I had a reason you told me to stop being rude to him. I can't be around him, I cover up around him, I can't say his name, I can't make eye contact with him, I move my hair to cover myself around him, I can't speak to him, I can't do anything when he's around. So why do you get mad at me? Why do yell at me? Why? It's hard enough to live in the same fucking house as him now I have to hear you tell me this over and over again. I want to tell you what he did but then I remember how you defended him and trusted him without even asking me why I hated him. So I put on a smile when you're around so you stop getting mad. I act like nothing happened because I don't know if I'll be able to take anymore. I know you don't know what happened but every single time you tell me I have no reason to hate him and how I'm the one in the wrong. Hearing that is worse then what he did to me.
I just want my mom and dad to hug me and tell me it wasn't my fault