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Deep ugly truths of my life

I am a 21 year old girl who have been hiding some deep secrets and somehow is still afraid due to those things.

• I kissed my cousin brother when I was probably 8 or 9 years old when we were sleeping together. He is of same age, it was unintentional and I didn't knew it just happend in night.

• My sister's husband made me uncomfortable by asking me for a kiss on cheeks with a good night wish.

• I don't know who but one of my relative harassed me when I was 11 or 12 years old, i was sleeping and i was so scared to open my eyes, i still don't know who that person is.

• I started to explore my body during my teenage years and now i came to know that i was actually masturbating without even realising.

• I am afraid to be in a relationship because I have seen my family beating girls for making their choices...all this I saw during my teenage years and I am still afraid.

• I was a lonely child, no one in school was my friend.

• I don't know what I was thinking but I bullied a girl for having no b**bs and b*tt, I basically body shamed her.


Now I am not at all near these things but I still think what all secrets I have to carry for rest of my life, whome should I tell all these things. So here I am writting all of it.