I was never like this before, doubting everything as if it were fabricated. I have been feeling like I'm being avoided by people, friends, loved ones, and even family. I've lost connection of the world itself. I have been suffering all alone in this delusion I'm trying to get out of.
Is is normal for a teenager to feel like this?
I'm burdened to look for a job to sustain my family's needs at a young age, it's hard to find a job with my age not yet qualified for jobs. I stopped going to school just so that I wouldn't have to bother my parents about tuition fees and such. I've lost contact with my friends and I really want to talk to them, but it makes me feel as though, they wouldn't want to entertain the likes of me.
I can imagine them talking ill behind my back, it's HORRIFIC! I hate this feeling.
I have a best friend that I stopped talking to coz it felt like I was just bothering that person with problems that he does not have to know. It felt painful that I had to share my problems with my friend when that person had to deal with his own problems, if it were me, it'd be bothersome indeed, so I stopped. Didn't talk to him again. And now I feel like everyone else hates me for not talking to him anymore, hence avoiding me.
I'm trapped inside these fake thoughts I made myself and I can't seem to get out.
These delusions feel so real, I do not know which is real anymore.
What do I do? I'm losing hope. But I don't want to die, I just want to see if there's actually what they "HOPE" in this world, coz' I feel like it does not exist anymore.