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How do I explain to my friends and my crush that I removed them off social media and planned on deleting it all so when I commit suicide less people would know.

When my crush also likes me back but he uses me to hide his emotional pain and detachment. We called every night and he helped me relive the pain of being depressed and suicidal. Me not being able to talk to anyone. He just used me so he felt less lonely.

i have no one else to rely on and I want to die. I really do