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Hi, I'm 14 years old and the oldest child in my house. I have one younger brother. Recently I've been going through a lot like depression and loneliness. I've contemplated cutting or suicide so many times I lost count. I feel like I'm always second to my friends, including my best friend. I get called useless, a mistake, etc by my own family. I have no one to talk to or vent. My family has major financial issues and it's so divided from other family issues. My father is also an alcoholic. I'm also allowed to show no emotion but happiness in my house and allowed no privacy, not even my own room. I also have to keep my family through the troubles. My brother is the favorite child and my parents make sure it's apparent. Overall I don't want to exist anymore. Please tell me what I should do.