Depression -J+

Time Spent- 13m
17 Visitors

I was depressed when I was 15. I was not clinically depressed because I never went anywhere to seek help, I just acknowledged that I am. Everyday I felt tightness in my heart, everything was hard for me. Even school, which I considered to be fun and easy when I was younger. But then everything went dark when I was 13 or 14, I cant keep up with their expectations anymore, I lost my will to listen to my teacher, I hated the fact that I had to talk to people. I used to be a very happy kid, I was always on the top. But I dont know where I am anymore. It's too dark.

I am now 17 and acknowledge that I still have depression, I dont know if this is right but I just know that I have it. I tried talking to my mom about people with depression just to know what she thinks of depression She said it was only for weak-minded people, and that they are crazy. So, I never told anyone. EVER. I dropped hints that I needed help, but they havent understood, maybe its my fault. I thought of suicide but I just laughed it off because I was not ready. I harmed myself, on my wrist and I liked how it felt.

A classmate also told everybody in my class that she needed help and needed someone to talk to, but all of them were busy and just ignored her. And I, of course talked to her because I dont want her to feel how I felt. I even told here to listen to sad songs hahahha, which I used to somehow cope up with depression. I told her that when you cant express what you feel verbally, just listen to music/songs. They will help you understand and convey your feelings. I dont know if what I did was right but she told be that it helped her calm down. I am just happy that I somehow stopped a person on experiencing the pits of hell.