Lately I've been looking at all the gifts my friends and mutuals have made for me and they make me sad just because I feel I don't deserve that time sacrifice on their end. Why are you so nice to me? You made this lovely thing just for me, but why did you take the time and effort to do it? I feel like people offer to help me because they feel they have to. It's so hard for me to accept any help which makes it worse.
Re: Depression lololol
I used to have these insecurities, I just didn't understand why people would love me. There are so much more people out there who are better than me.
When I voiced my feelings to a close friend, she told me that she didn't want better, she wanted me, she loved me, and she cared for me. Not other unknown people she didn't meet. "No, those 'better' people will get people that need them. I have you, that's enough."
You know why they love you? Because you are you. You deserve them, they deserve you. If you love them, you'd let them show you their love for you. Try to focus on the good things, angel. Instead of "what if", think "so what". Stay safe, you deserve all the good in your life.