I've struggled with these thoughts for years. It's torn me down, I hate myself, I hate everything about myself. I'm too fat, I'm too ugly, I'm worthless.
I want to die, I want to end it right now but I can't bring myself to do it.
I feel like I can't talk to anybody because...why am I depressed?
I have a good life, good family, good friends, a good relationship.
Future plans. A life I want to live.
But I have such horrible thoughts all day. I consider taking my life at any given moment, the bus that drives by I could just jump in front of it...the craft knife would be ideal to bleed myself out....I already struggled with an addiction, why don't I just let it finish me off?
I can never bring myself to do it. My body doesn't want to go, but my mind is trying to force me too.
Self harm is torture. I find myself doing it in ways where it may not kill me but it's leaving me in pain for hours and even days.
I know it's wrong. But I can't stop.
I don't understand why.