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Disappearing happiness

Do you ever question your existence? You are constantly sad and you can't stop crying, and you ask yourself: Why me?? Sometimes you think, maybe I need psychiatrist, maybe I just need a close friend to talk to. You keep your emotions to yourself, and then, they just start to overload you. You feel like you are constantly drowning, and you just can't swim to the surface. You want to be happy, but you recognise the journey to happiness as difficult and impossible. You put on your favourite playlist, and you think Maybe this will help me?. You force yourself to dance, to sing, and you find this happiness for a second of your life, but then you realise that it disappears.