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do i have depression...

i don’t even know at his point. every day i’m depressed, everyday i think of suicide, everyday i lay in my bed for hours on my phone in the dark because i try to cope with it. everyday, i hope the day ends. a few days ago, i almost attempted to game end because i’m not feeling good, i’m not doing good not matter how many times i day i am. i want to tell my family my feelings, but i fear i would sound edgy, or my parents would say i just want attention. no matter how many times i cut myself i never feel much better afterwards, it’s a punishment. i try to tell my therapist, but i can’t end after end up crying