april 2, 2021. if i (15F at the moment) didnt write this i would probably have another panic attack today. im here to ask if my experiences count as abusewhen i was about 10-11, my sister(17F at the moment), who had just started high school, was depressed, making suicidal jokes (shes fine now btw). i asked my mom(i honestly dont think age matters that much) in private if she could be lighter on my sister with chores, and ask me to do them instead. by chores i dont mean taking out the trash once in a while, i mean full on following my mom around and assisting her for hours, usually about 1-2 times a week. my mom agreed and i did all of these chores, while my sister stayed in her room, occasionally taking plates out of her room, vacuuming her room sometimes, ect. its only started to change last fall, 2020, because it is her senior year and she needs to learn how to do chores. im 15 right now, and if i had the amount of money adults have, would be able to self sustain myself. my sister and i have a very different relationship with our mom. she likes to isolate herself in general, but when with our mom, jokes with her, and just overall has a good time. i, as my mom describes me, am her "right hand". i essentially do exactly as she asks. this includes chores, actions that would need consent (she expects me to be comfortable changing and showing her spots i shave, and other things that i dont really want to do). i have tried to say no, but she ends up saying things like "oh im your mom" and "itll be quick" or ask why i dont want to. its so much easier to just say that im fine with it and get it over with. my mom is also very manipulative, openly admitting to my sister and i that she analyzes our behavior. im not sure if anyone else sees this as wrong but ill explain why i have a problem with it. if anyone has seen The Promised Neverland (season 1) thats basically the situation i feel like im in, except no planning i do can get me out. next up is the uncomfy stuff for fellow asexuals so skip this paragraph if you want. both of my parents have done things like this such as: my mom commenting on my weight, body (hips, butt, waist, stomach), on how much i eat, yet failed to notice how i have either eaten very little or not at all within the past few days, (under 1200 calories). my dad directly touches my hips and waist while im doing chores. sometimes its to signal me to move but other times its just because.... i honestly dont know. OH YEAH HE ALSO KISSES ME AT RANDOM TIMES, usually after doing previously listed.the major thing that my mom does to give me panic attacks is when she uses a babying voice. she works with children, so she practices some lessons on me. she also babys my 5 year old cousin, and sometimes calls my name in that voice. i cant stand it. shes never noticed that it irritates me and i plan to keep it that way.tw: blo/d another thing that triggers me is the circulatory system, injections, that kinda medical stuff. luckly, my mom and sister love talking about it /s. my sister does notice that im visibly having a panic attack, and tries to stop my mom from talking, hell, my mom even knows about my fear of it yet blatantly ignores any warnings. i also have a decision to surgically shave a part of my bone, as extra bone grew after BREAKING MY ARM TWICE IN MY LIFE. at the doctors office, literally 10 minutes after we were given the options, my dad asks me "so you're going to do the surgery right?" MIND YOU I WAS PETRIFIED THE ENTIRE TIME. an hour car ride home and my mom asks what im going to do. LIKE PLEASE JUST LET ME SIT DOWN AND WATCH OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB IN PEACE I HAVE A COUPLE MONTHS TO DECIDE. my dad has constantly been pushing me to do the surgery, and the decision has to be made in two weeks, wish me luck.adding this paragraph in because i forgot to mention this but my sister is also ace. she came out, and my mom accepts that. im honestly going to have a harder time because my mom keeps talking about when my sister and i have our own families. my sister is ace and has no interest in children so i know that those comments are directed toward me.lastly we get to why i wrote this entire thing anyway. as previously mentioned, i have been eating less than 1200 calories for the past few days. well about 10 minutes before i started typing this vent, my mom approached me, said, and this is quoted word for word, "you've gained some weight," then slaps her butt. DO YOU SEE, BASED ON WHAT I WROTE IN PARAGRAPH 5 (if you count the intro as a paragraph) WHY I SPIRALLED INTO A PANIC ATTACK? i have been telling myself "its just 6 more years, its just 5 more years, its just 4 more years" until i can get a dorm and not have to deal with this anymore. honestly the only reason im still sane is because of my qpr (queer platonic relationship) partner. im madly in love with them, and know that they feel horrible that ive been starving myself.i honestly dont know what to do. if anyone reads this, thank you for your time. im just over the 5,000 character mark and i think its time i end it here. im not going to reread this over in fear of spiralling into another panic attack so sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors. i feel a bit better now but know that i could at any moment start hyperventilating again. good day/night kind stranger, and please tell me, if this website allows for comments, if this is considered abuse.