I feel like no one hears me. Everyone talks over me and ignores me. My feelings have been oppressed for a long time. I have no one I can talk to and my mental health is declining severely. Everytime I feel better life punches me back do. I'm treated like a doll. (Metaphorically). Everyone smiles at me and compliments me then throws me down and ignores me. I hate my existence. I am lonely. I have never felt welcomed anywhere. My self esteem issues have only worsened. I always feel like people are judging me or that one likes me. Hurtful things people say to me I remember forever and it haunts me. My creation was a mistake. I'm not supposed to be here. No one listens to what I want, no one supports my decisions. People are living their lives through me. What I want doesn't matter. My feeling are not valid, my wants and needs are not important. I am tired of being unhappy. I am tired of living a life where I don't get to decide what's right for me. I shouldn't be afraid to express how I feel because I fear what other will say or do. This is not a life worth living. My battles and struggles are overlooked. I may not have gone through as much as the next person but I'm also battling my demons. No one genuinely cares about me. The world would be a better place if I never came here.
a couple of years ago i would tell you that i’ve never related to something more as much as your post. i was in a terrible hole that just kept getting deeper. i always felt like leaving this world would be the best option, but i always thought about my family and how selfish i would be to do something so terrible. a year later i had a friend commit suicide. the amount of pain it affected me was absolutely horrible but the pain his mother, father, brother and girlfriend felt... it’s unexplainable. you might not think it’ll help, but believe me when i say it... get a therapist. you can get actual advice and not have to type your feelings through an anonymous message. you can move away, cut toxic people off and start over. i promise things get better and one day you will see that.