I was fine and an enjoyable person till the end of my 10th Class. In the mid times of my 11th class , due to no concentration in studies , I just started feeling anxious , hopeless , irritated . And my whole year(2019) went like that . I became an below average scorer in 12th class. My parents began to compare me with other intelligent students around me. They started shouting on me , they became very angry towards me. Everyday they talked against me. They said that I will not have a good future and will likely be working like slaves in other's house. I started feeling like I am worthless , hopeless , helpless. I began thinking of ending my life . I searched a lot on google and other platforms if there was an easy way to commit suicide peacefully , but I found nothing. I talked about my feelings with my parents but they were not serious about this . I gave some online tests that gave me information about how much suicidal I am , and I got to find that I am 100% suicidal and should seek immediate help , but I cannot . Now I feel like as if my whole life is just being played on a screen and I am a audience who does not exists in that life. I am not sure if I like to end my life but I just want to do not exist anymore. My parents don't even know what's going inside me . I just act happy in front of them and cry whole night . I just wanted to share my feelings. I wish , may there be an option to die just for one day and feel that thing.....