You even feel so empty inside you just sonder if youre even there? The thing is i know people love me even if its just one person but i feel so unloved. I could be hangin out with my "friends" and feel so lonely. Its weird because there are some people that say, oh you can talk to me bout anything im all ears. However, the moment you tell them something they spread your life story or issues like a new album released from someone everyone loves. Or when you try to tell them/when you need them the most they are either too busy for you or not interested in listening to you. The thing is i dont want to kill myself but i also dont want to be here on this earth. I just want all the pain to stop but it never stops. I figured after all ive been through i would at least have a slight break but no. The silent, sad, suffering must go i guess. Life really is a bitch. You ever wish everyone could just see through your fake smile and just see that youre hurting and just hug you and tell you everything will be alright. Even though you know everythig wont be alright, in that moment you really believed it. I don't want to tell anyone how much i feel like im suffering inside because everyone looks up to me in a way. They think that im this strong, outgoing, always happy person when really im just depressed, lonely and empty inside. Ive always had to be strong for everyone else and wasnt allowed to show the slightest sadness. Some says i do great at it but other days i just cant handle to hind it completely at school. Depression is not really a new thing to me however its gettig harder and harder to hide it. Most days when anyone asks me how i am i obviously say im ok or good or fine and rarely mean it however there are some days that i can actually say im good and mean it. Now, they are rare but im glad for them. I feel it weird to be typing here because i usually just type how i feel in my notes or on a piece of paper, rip it up and throw it away when im done writing what i was writing.
Well I'm also doing the same thing. Whenever I get upset or depressed, I just write it on my diary and now here. It feels really good. Also it's safe than telling a person who can spread or enjoy it.
Don't worry everything has its time. All will be gone by time.
Life is full of surprises..
We just need to face it.
God bless ❤️❤️