My heart is just so overwhelmed with hurt, disappointment, and hopelessness. I'm just so tired of hiding all the hurt and pretending to be the happy, strong person for everyone else. I give my all to everyone and everything I do, but all my efforts seem to be in vain. I am surrounded by family and friends who love me but they don't KNOW me. They don't understand the darkness I wander through each day. I feel so alone and empty. I'm drowning, but no one seems to notice. I'm not sure why am writing this, or if anyone even cares, but I just need a sign that things will get better. A sign that my life matters.
You sound like a song I once knew called Dank Vine, from the good old days
When they ask you
how you are
and you just have to say
that you’re fine
when you’re not really fine
but you just can’t get into it
because they would never
I almost died a few months ago. I crawled for hrs to get help. Maybe I dreamed it but an angel seemed to guide me to help. Paramedics couldn’t find a pulse. Ambulance couldn’t start IV. First hospital couldn’t save me. Sent to another state & somehow lived. Yet here I am reaching out to you. There’s your sign you matter.
You have depression. Talk to the school counselor. When older see a therapist. You may need meds. I was deep in depression for many years. Some simple meds takes the edge off for me.
So you do matter. Learn to look for things that make you happy. Hang in there.