Erase my memory

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I hate my birthday,this is day i expect from someone to talk to me but i know she will not message after making me suffer so much but still i expect and as i knew she didnt contacted me.

I just want this day to end ,my head is fucking exploding, i hate myself ,i can not handle this pain,i can not die , why i have to tolerate .. i hate this fucking life , i hate it .