Ever not sleep?

Time Spent- 8m
9 Visitors

I spent whole day doing something my body can’t do anymore. Ex wants me return Sun to to teach son something. Doubt I can drive. My body is messed up. Muscle disease.

She dropped her latest plan. Daughter at her moms. Her mom wanted that. Well she graduated high school at 16, was supposed be 15, so I’m ok with that. But her mom talked her out of going to college out of state on scholarship. Causes oldest to lose his. Annoys me.

Now ex wants me to rent apartment in another city. Youngest live with me. Are you kidding. How? I have no $. I’m a transplant patient. Can’t get Medicaid in the backwoods state I was born & diagnosed in. Even if I move that renal failure follows me from my state to others. So I have these giant copays on these endless meds. Must goto a few docs. Copays. Can’t goto hospital. I’ll be paying for nearly dying till I die. No more credit.

A little secret. In many states you can work 70 hrs week & pay taxes. You will pay to keep the politicians insured. But if you get sick & cant pay all those taxes they say go die. I can never figure out why people vote for them. Poor people vote fir them.

They’re coming for my guns. Get real it’s the second amendment. They can’t get your guns. It’s the Constitution. Who would take them? The far left? They have no guns. The gang bangers? They will always have guns no matter what laws you pass.

They support abortion. True. But would you rather have these women in an alley or with coat hangers? Some women aren’t cut out to be moms yet. Some men run out.

They support immigration. I’ll grant you we need to slow that down. Too many lost over seas jobs. To much poverty. Too much homelessness. We need to help the poor already here. Not import more poor. Even when you import doctors that means one less person born here gets to be a doctor. On the other hand. Ever met immigrants? I’ve had many friends from foreign nations. I’m disabled. I wear down. Other day I could barely walk. You know who helped me. Some white dude in dirty clothes; & a Hispanic who barely spoke English. So they aren’t my enemy. But I get poor people feeling that exploited immigrants hurt them. I worked in a plant that laid off nearly every white; black, & Asian. Replaced them with cheap Hispanic temps. It was my second job. I often worked two to get ahead.

But have you ever listened to them. Heard what they fled? I can’t decide. I want to help them. But also help the poor here. So I don’t have an answer.

They hate Christians. Well that’s true. My cross & Bible has made me a target at jobs & schools. So that’s true. But it would help if some Christians would quit trying to fight gay marriage & stuff. You don’t have to marry a man. Why do you care if someone else does. Why can’t you sell them a cake? That’s discrimination. In America it used to be Kelts & Italians. Then blacks. Now it’s gays. At some point we have to stop with the hate.

They cut the military & space. Granted that’s moronic. Our military is small. You’d better always have a big edge in tech. Our enemies can now steal every tech we have.

Space. Like the military, advances feed back into the economy. Also. Humanities only long term Hope is space.

But your already poor. You may one day need health insurance. Your kids may need college. True. It was Obama & Hillary that trashed student loans. Low down dogs. Made it so hard on young people. What did Hillary say “too many kids goto college. If she made it harder than companies would be forced to hire anyone with a degree. Then she could pick & choose who got a free Ed. Slimeball. That’s why I voted against her. Her kid got riches from politics. Tax payers. But she stuck it to other people’s kids. Made me mad.

That’s why I was voting for Sanders pre pandemic. Free Ed for everyone. I had some white country guy argue with me. He was first generation grad. He & his parents worked their butts off. Sure. But I pointed this out. We give a lot of minorities & single moms free educations already. Many immigrants get scholarships which means people like him pay higher tuitions to subsidize that. I said your already paying to educate other people’s children. Why not let some of that tax $ pay fir yours too? It’s ludicrous. Like talking to walls.

People watch TV. Listen to the far left or right, & get all worked up. I stay in the middle but lean left. Usually vote left. Unless they make me mad. Hillary going after other people kids when she got rich off our backs ticked me off. So I voted against her. Sanders is out. Trump did well with economy. But hurts health care. Biden did poor job with Economy as VP. If he lets Bloomberg run it that may work. He’s strong on healthcare. But in truth no one can fix that in poor states. Obama tried. It’s mostly undone. Rich people convincing poor people that sick poor people don’t need insurance.

I once heard people arguing that. I mocked the lady slightly. Asked her to prove why she needed it. She went into a long tale. Very sad. She started crying. The men lowered their heads. Even when I seem mean I’m really trying to do good.

But we are facing a Great Depression. My grandparents lived thru it. Where I grew up we were still in it.

I’m back in it now. I’m always depressed over $. LOL.

If I vote for Biden is he going to cause this to get much worse. I fear he will. So I don’t know. I’m voting dem local for all the good that does. They never win in many areas.

If Dems would change a few stances, they could get a lot more votes. But we’ve become a very divided nation due to the media. cbs news is as balanced as I can find. I also like the BBC. I read fox & msnbc to find stories others leave out. But both are so hateful they turn my stomach. Balance. Ever row a boat? It works best when everyone works together.

If we bring all the jobs we can here; we can employ people. Afford health care & higher ed for all. Expanded Medicaid pays for itself. More people goto hospitals. They hire more employees who pay taxes. Rural hospitals stay open. That’s vital. Try getting off my mountain. Driving into a big city. Only to then be sent out of state cause they can’t do it. I went thru that recently.

Morons never gave me IVs. In renal failure. I crawled out of bed & drank from their sink & saved my own life.

This is what happens when we cut health care spending. My ER doc put all her efforts into one patient. I get it. The kid still died. That’s why I chose not to sue. But where was a second doc? I was there 16 hrs. Got one bag finally after I went down hall & was fixing to start it myself. This is what cutting health care does. By the time I reached the next state I was F’d up. All my internal organs took a beating. Then I got booted out in the cold winter rain in a gown in the night. Waited hrs as I begged a ride from my state.

I hate winter.

So. I worked two jobs for yrs. I volunteered to try to save people. Went to Cburch. Helped people. Get sick. Now I’m a piece of trash. Go die in a corner. Well I would but I have an autistic child. Two other children. Death isn’t an option. But don’t know how long I can keep fighting it off.

I was a 5’11”; 285 lb body building martial artist. I hunted. Dived. Climbed cliffs Ran touch downs. Surfed. Hit home runs. Ran marathons. If it can happen to me it could happen to you dumb a$$.

You may be healthy today. But unless your rich; when those giant medical bills roll in look out. If you have a disabled child brace yourself. You’ll find yourself selling those classic cars you customized. Selling your Hulk issue one. Selling those old Star Wars toys. Cashing in that IRA. Selling your 4 wheel drive & German cars. Working your self in the ground. All to give your baby a chance. As society says give up on him. Nope. He’s so much better than they said he could be. I showed the mothers. So did he. My little warrior. His mom messed it all up. Well her mom did.