I have been married a year back. Before marriage, my husband has given all his earnings to his mom and she had bought a house in her name. His parents did not spend a single penny out of their pocket for his wedding. When I was marrying him, he had a lot of loans - housing loan, marriage loan and money that he had borrowed from his friend so that we can rent a house to live together ! Our life started together with a lot of loans which we slowly repaid off. His parents had no regrets and always kept nagging for money. My husband had to pay all the bills for the house that they were staying in - electricity, water, internet etc etc, he had to give a huge sum of money to his mom and dad separately and even has to recharge their mobile every time. Their nagging never stopped ! After all this, my dad in law wanted mobile and we bought it. My mom in law was never happy, always complaining, always acting as though she is very very vulnerable and made my husband order things from Amazon, etc etc. She was never ever content with what she had. This time, because of corona, me and my husband did not get the same salary like always. But she never stopped asking. Now she was 4 golden bangles !! When I told my husband that it is unfair that she asks these things, all the mishap started happening. He says I am wrong to poke my nose and come between him and his mother and that his mother has every right to ask him. We usually have a savings account for our future. My entire salary goes in there and a meagre amount from his salary comes as well after me asking every month. Now, because I said so about his mother, he says he is guilty that he s not able to keep giving wen any people ask him something. Without even discussing with me, (he never discussed on whether he really wanted to buy her those damn bangles ) he has asked for another loan from his friend to buy his mom what she wants. So it was easy discussing with his friend but not with me. Also he says the reason he wanted to buy his mother is because she says she will keep asking him until he buys her tat bangles ! Now, the worst part. He has not talked with me as usual (like it always happens in all fights) for 2 days.. I went from being his sweetheart to no one within minutes! He didn't even care if I fell down and had pain in my body. We decided to split up the savings money and transfer half to his account so that he can do whatever he wanted with that money.. and his mom is going to get tat bangles she wanted. How is this even fair? Why am I being punished for what is not my mistake ?!
Re: Everything to nothing!
Ngl that sounds exactly like my dad and his family. Except his mom drove poison in his mind against my mom. His parents wanted our house to be in their name but my dad never did that. But my dad gave them a lot of money, $800 per year or 2, for 4 decades. He paid all their medical bills, everytime my grandpa got sick he'd get a head scan. My dad paid for my cousins(his brother's daughters), my aunt(and her son). Everything. My cousin(aunt's son) got a head scan bc he wasn't studying. When I was a kid my cousin(female) teasted me & I got yelled at for replying. That same cousin would call my dad on his phone to wish him happy birthday. Her famile came to this country where it was hard & my uncle had to use my dad's money while he studied to be a doctor. Meanwhlie my mom does everything by hand. But she never argued & took care of her kids(us). She suffered a little, she was never respected, but she was at peace.
My uncle took money without telling my mom when he came over w/ his family. My mom told him off. My dad paid my uncle enough money to get a flat for my uncle's family in a different country. My aunt's husband doesn't work bc my grandma made my dad give her a lot of money so her in-laws & husband don't work. Now she brings in all the income.
Now guess what? My dad went to visit his parents last year. They have doctors waiting hand & foot on my grandparents paid by my dad. My dad was feeling dizzy on the 4th day of his visit. He's a heavy smoker for 4 decades. Did his brother, a doctor ever give him health advice? No. Did those doctors wait hand & foot on my dad when he was dizzy? No. He was going to a doctor nearby with my aunt & their cousin. My dad went back to the 5th floor by the elevator himself to get a file. WHen he came down he had a massive heart attack in the main lobby. His heart burst. My dumb aunt gave chest compressions moved his body. He passed away in the ambulance
You should take your savings & don't waste it on them or your husband. Today my uncle dumped his mom & my aunt. My aunt takes care of the parents alone. Let your in-laws in fight, they're not worth it. Mental peace & health is worth more
Re: Everything to nothing!
Hey, thanks for replying. I am really sorry for your loss and I really hope that you and your family get more peace and happiness.
One thought that lingers in my mind though! If I have my savings separately and if my husband is never going to understand me, is it really worth to have him in my life only because he is there at the happy times? It is very tough for me to ask such a question. At every fight, he ends up ignoring me for atleast 3 days which drives me crazy.