ex bf, do i miss him still? or did i suddenly just detest him?

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like so i begin to wonder this since lately i randomly thought of him, like i remember our conversation and his smell. he smell nice (i dont mean that in a weird way). i've never been with anyone before him so this is really confusing for me. I keep seeing him pop up on my instagram view story, which i know people just skip the story and dont really care, but he is always first or second in the list, so whenever i see him, i kinda i kinda rage abit, like screaming and putting my middle finger up to the screen, but in the same time i cant say anything bad at him or about him at all. i mean it wasn't even a bad break up. i mean we agreed on being friend...but that mf decided to answer really really really differently and short and colddddd, and before that legit while we were breaking up he called me cute like the heck u never even called me cute or pretty before in the whole ass relationship O-O, and he was nice during it. it lasted for 2 months but still ahhhhhhh. i dont even know anymore. sometime i feel like i hate him now, but then i feel guilty later since he didnt do anything wrong... oh wait no effort, but still not enough for me to hate him, but stilllll.

sorry this is really confusing, im confused myself. i'm just letting off some steam really, but please reply and help me because im genuinely very confused.

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