Tonight was a relapse of my self harm. I have a "bad guy" complex from past relationships and being guilt tripped by my family into believing I'm always at fault. My mother is autistic and disabled, and I make every excuse for her because i care for her. I blame myself whenever she gets overwhelmed and that she can barley get out of bed without pain because I'm the only person she has and i hate that. I believe I'm the evil one is every relationship, plationic or romantic. I feel like such a horrible person and making it through each day is getting harder but I'm scared. 15 year olds shouldnt feel this way.