Not looking for sympathy here at all - just looking for some sort of opinion I suppose; my upbringing wasn't the best (heroin addict mother with an abusive old man), I've always worked to be better and I somewhat am - I consider myself to be alot more aware and alot more conscious than the average person; I work a good job, I'm on good money, I've got my own place at 19 - all completely self-made, I've been on this perpetual quest my entire life to always 'be better', though there's this feeling that like ...- ultimately, nothing really matters?
You get the car you want, it's great, but you get bored - you want a faster car, but it's the same thing; people tell you to try new things and implement self-love but for what? I'm not somebody that has ever had the 'family' aspect nor does it interest me, when people say 'curiousity killed the cat' it really does resonate.
Like this world is absolutely awful from my perspective and always has been no matter the amount of effort or reward I seem to reap, I sort of need help(?) but I don't want to talk to anybody about it, I've lived a very lonely life but by choice, people do my head in and I seriously despise the company of most.
Just wondering if anybodies really ever been in the same situation where it feels like no matter what you achieve it's all really shit and doesn't ultimately contribute to anything so what's the point in contributing anymore when I'm bored of it all? I'm -bored-, of everything.