I've been religious for my whole life, or at least as far back as I can remember. I have always believed in God, and for the past year I have been able to take that faith and really begin to grow. However, I've grown up in an atheist family, and I have really never been given the opportunity to go to church or even really discuss my faith. I've tried to open up, but I always end up avoiding the discussion, because any time we have talked about religion, I only hear about why it doesn't make sense, or that people only turn to it when they need something to hold on to, or that religious people are crazy, so it scares me knowing that my parents might end up thinking that way about me. Since I really don't have access to a church, I crafted a plan. Since I've moved so much throughout my life, I have to keep making friends, and right now, I don't have any really. So by going to the youth group at church, I can say I'm just socializing. But I'm going to the services too. I want to tell my parents that it's about following Jesus, not to see friends, but they always say "just deal with the religion stuff." But I'm going to go for the first time tomorrow, and I still haven't told them. When will I? I don't know.I don't have anywhere to go with this story, and this is really only a general idea of what's going on, but it's complicated right now. A lot of things in my life are complicated right now. I wish I felt more comfortable sharing what I believe. I just can't shake the fear that my parents will never think of me the same. My parents, to my knowledge, really do trust be, find me to be intelligent, and understand how I think. But if I share this, what if I just end up being a crazy person in their eyes? What if they never think of me the same again? I don't want to lose that.My faith is the most important thing to me, but I'm so terrified to share, only one real person in my life knows my story, and they live thousands of miles away. I'm not too worried about posting this among the huge amount of articles shared on this site, since no one I know will ever find it. I just needed a place to vent all of this before I drive myself insane.