Time Spent- 2m 9s
5 Visitors

faking everything

I feel like I’m faking everything

my laugh

my smile

my happiness

everything

i wish I could be happy but I don’t think it’s possible

i want a normal teenage life like going out watching sunsets going out with mates skating all the things teens do, but instead I stay in my room all day. I’m scared to go outside. I’m scared of meeting it with anyone. I just can’t make myself go out it’s to hard for me. I don’t have many friends and 2 are online friends 1 irl,, I’m a very sensitive person so I get sad or upset over the dumbest things I swear. I don’t think I can cope with being alone for much longer if I’m honest might just press fast forward in life. I’m always the “happy friend” when I’m around other people but when I’m alone I breakdown and cry n cut myself. My family doesn’t see anything that really goes on in my life,, what I think or how I cope with everything. I just say I’m fine or I’m tired sum like That. I get asked why I play so many video games like it’s to get out of reality and life when I do game. I’m scared of everyone, I flinch whenever someone goes to give me a hug or give me something to hold. I can only sleep next to a wall bc thats the Only place I feel safe to sleep. I’m scared of loud noises like lorry’s or sirens. I cry myself to sleep pretty much every night. My mental health just gets worse by the day. I don’t want to go back to school I’ll get judged by everyone. When we go back on PE days we have to go in our kit but I don’t want to do that bc I hate my body I hate my chest my belly n legs my arms and most of all my face. Also my whole friendship group has broke up so I don’t know what it will be like when I go back. I’m going into year 10 so I’ll have mocks to do which will be even more stressful than things are now. I’m only 14 I don’t know why my life is like this. I shouldn’t have to deal with this. I’m so done honestly I might just go,, why waste a life of me when good people who loved their life but also lost it could of had theirs back. I’m sorry I really am. Anyway I’m going now cya people who acc read this. :/