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family crisis

I have no any career path .i am 27 years old. My family gets worried for me. They taunt me to get married soon as possible. I get fear what am i suppose to with my life. I always wanted a good job ,earn well but fuck my life ...i have lost many many years finding myself. I have a self low esteem i have always been confuse with myself. now i realize maybe i could have listen to my family or my heart. i do wanted to get marry but i feel like i will lose it all ..my boyfriend loves me alot and i feel blessed to have him. My family feels burden, they are not so happy with me cuz i didnt reach their expectation. I feel betrayed because as a parents they didnt understood me.they still are very strict towards me. As growing up in a asian family you know how your life grows. I am not blaming my parents but they just want me to do wat they want. Its the toughest battle if you are against them. Having a narcisstic family is hard. what can i do they are my family . I hope somepeople can feel my pain emotions .

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Re: family crisis

I don't come from an asian family but I feel like I can emphasis. My sibling is very successful, great grades, great sports player, they do it all. My parent's couldn't be prouder of them and although they don't say it I can tell that I haven't lived up to their expectations.

To be perfectly honest though, I don't care. If I wanted to live up to their expectations I would have made those choices, I didn't and neither did you. I think if you wanted to get married you would have. It's not a very hard thing to do, sure their are fears, you might lose yourself, but if it's with the right person then isn't loosing yourself sort of the point?

Either your fully and resolutely yourself, grounded in some internal anchor that hold your desires and decisions along a single axis guiding you to your light or your a shell. If you have trouble finding yourself, and spent years doing it, maybe your a shell. Just a shell who doesn't want to be filled up the same way children are afraid to get into the water before they do, and then don't want to get out.

If you want to be free, be free, there's nothing stopping you. And don't say money, if you really want to be free that you wouldn't let the golden chains hold you back. To a free person a shorter life lived their way is worth much more then a long life lived with creature comforts. I wouldn't put so much blame on your parents either, they probably were raised in a similar environment and don't know any other way to be, that's at least the impression I get from my parents.

In regards to the shells and the anchors. I think very few people are born as anchors, how can you be when you've only just entered the world? I think if you want to not be a shell, to not be changed by the news of the day or the seasons weather, then you need to find your own anchor. Some people call it their rock, it's someewhere inside you, something you've wanted to do since you were a child. Something impossible. It's only impossible until you decide your going to do it or die trying, everything else starts to look easier in the face of death.

Fair winds,

I’ll try to be scientific about this. On average white males are smartest but Asians earn more in America due to work ethics. While my high IQ blinds are playing sports all over the country & hanging with friends & shooting bows & fishing & skateboarding & dating & playing endless online games Asian kids are studying. I got over ruled by my wife. I’m a literal genius blond but I respect the Asian approach.

Modern medicine means you can safely have kids older. It’s just egg age. As they age they are more likely to cause birth defects. So if you intend to have kids the 30-35 range is fine now. Be careful. My wife waited for yrs chasing $. We married young. Her eggs got bad. Took yrs & surgeries. But once the one blond giant came out an assembly line started.

Women used to ask me to just get them pregnant. Families offered me money. Genius IQ (poor grammar); very athletic; great looks. My point is you can goto a lab & buy sperm. Pick what you want to a degree. Or fish for a donor. Sign a paper releasing him from parental rights. So relax; you can be a mom without a dad today.

As for a career. It’s hard as heck since Clinton signed NAFTA & China most favored. Service jobs depend on factory jobs. As Covid showed us, Clinton sent our factories overseas. So there’s fewer high end jobs; constant inflation; growing population; & usually high legal & illegal immigration. This means more people chasing fewer jobs. Inflation skyrocketed under Obama. It costs much more just to tread water. In his 8 yrs my house value dropped by half. It’s worst less than I put down on it. Young people rarely understand such things. When you try to explain they get mad. But here we can be honest & not be screamed at & threatened by loons. I mostly vote liberal so I’m just telling the truth to help you.

You have fallen for the American illusion. Pre WWII America was a backwater. Euro led the world. Then all those tiny white countries wiped out their pops & leveled their cities. The US wasn’t occupied & entered late. We left the war top of the food chain. Everyone bought our stuff

But we passed strict laws others don’t follow. Clinton gave away our high tech. Obama sold GM & our copper to China.

True powers export finished goods & import raw supplies. Starting with Carter but magnifying with Clinton we are going the other way. Invest less into space & military research (where new tech mostly starts). Import finished goods. Export copper; trees; & cardboard backs. I’m not kidding. We have full ships unload goods & ship back cardboard boxes. It’s like a magic show. Hey all is good; ignore the truth. Get a service job. They only work in certain conditions. Notice that many are currently cut own hair; cook own food; mow own grass; etc. massive unemployment. But many factories are still open. They will have to slow cause who can buy new stuff. Most of that crap is made in China & Mexico though.

I was the man. I could have played college sports. Offered full scholarships for engineering; science; etc. in high school my last two yrs I was already being paid to help design buildings & stuff. 7 degrees later I was building stuff for space. Why 7? I literally never studied. I set in class & absorbed it & aced nearly all. Darn grammar. I had a huge home paid off; German sports cars; investments. Then a serious disease started trying to endlessly kill me. I said well I have a house paid off. Paid that thing off at 26 or so. I jogged in my house. So big. Upscale area. Well; disabled son. We pushed all our chips in. It was worth it. He is so much better than they said he could be. Instead of being blind & unfunctional, he has a shot at life. Best investment in my life.

I now have nothing financially. Disabled. Circling the drain. It’s a house of cards we play.

I wanted to buy land in country. Pay for a slab & frame. Finish the inside & siding myself. Then invest my $. My wife had other plans. I wanted to be in Air Force. When I met her I was 3 months from basic. I changed all my plans for her. She now admits we should have followed my advice.

Lower your expectations. You can but 1/4 acres near town. Pay for a slab; a used double wide; get it bricked & it looks pretty good. Brick it later. So you never buy a BMW. Drive a Hyundai. Accept that your not going to have Oprah or LaBron $. Most of us won’t. Only entertainers & some innovators do that. Americans watch TV & think we all should be well off. Look at a pyramid. Lots of stones on the bottom. One on top. For Oprah & Gates to live like kings there have to be a lot of poor waitresses; repairmen; & clerks below them. Capitalism is only the best because any of us can reach the top.

Look at LaBron. He’s average IQ at best. Below average looks. Rude. Obnoxious. Hateful. Yet he is tall & dribbles a round ball in a gym in tennis shoes well & he banks a fortune. Only in America could a guy play a boring PE sport most males don’t like & make more than an astronaut or rocket scientist. He makes more than brain & heart surgeons. More than Generals. Think on that. The scientist who finds the cure for Covid will make less than a dude wearing sneakers as he plays a kids game. See; capitalism can allow a moron to end up rich. That doesn’t happen in other systems.

So you just have take your skill set & the tools in your box & build the best life you can. I’m watching storage wars. Everyone is chasing the same thing. $. Look at pro athletes wives. Most of those dudes are cheating clowns & not much to look at; yet they have a trophy wife. Money talks. So the key is spend less than you make. My wife never got that. Credit cards.

Hope I wasnt rude. To learn you must remove the illusions the media & scam artists create so as to see the truth.