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Fat but not

i have read thousands of books in which the fat girl is an outcast , is bullied , is a duff but i am in a total weird position i feel fat and ugly but i have never been bullied people do make comments but honestly i am super interactive so it just gets hidden out. I am just ranting shit cause every time i look at someone else i become my own bully , i feel happy , i show people i am happy but internally i curse myself its difficult and i just wanted to put this out there to anyone who feels similar that even if i do not know you i will always be there for you .