For starters I'm aware I'm not okay, I have a daughter that is 2 months old and a girlfriend IV been with for 2 years now.
The child was as an accident and I know I'm never going to be a man who can look after a child, I'm just not emotionally there and I'm too independent and unattached from people. I'd say I'm somewhat physcopatchic. (and no that doesn't mean I'm a murderer research the true meaning of physcopatchic)
IV been living on my own for 6 years now and IV had my life in routine I'm the same way day in day out for those years, my main hobby is playing pc games 8 hours a day and working a full time job 8 hours a day too and having weekends off work.
Suddenly my girlfriend announces she is pregnant (not in a happy manner) now the child joins this world and suddenly I feel thrown into a cage, I have lost all independency I was used to and now forced out into social interaction and forced to be something I can't be, I'd rather honestly up and leave and run as far as possible and if anyone came for me I'd be the most nastiest person to get them away from me so I don't get dragged back, this isn't what I want but it's the only way I can protect myself.
I'm now in the cycle of not being able to do my hobbies for even an hour a day and having to work a full time job and be out of my comfort zone for the rest of my time I have away from work. It never ends I can't get a break anymore
If I try to relax and have my own days off I have everyone batting against me forcing me and telling me I'm a bad guy for not helping the other half with child even though she is always at her house in her own space being supported by everyone even my own family... Which leaves me with no support, everyone IV attempted to explain it to gets shut down with "oh you should have thought about your actions then you wouldn't be in this mess"
I don't understand, the girl gets the child which is fine but the guy has to ditch everything and become a slave otherwise he gets scrutinized for not helping even though the guy has lost everything that made him... Him
I used to be happy I'm always the Joker I'm always the fun guy and now lately I feel like walking away from everything I feel upset I feel stressed and if I vent to anyone it won't be listened to.
If any others feel this way then at least I'm not the only guy that's lost everything that made him happy.