Time Spent- 3m 36s
6 Visitors

Fear and the written word

Honestly, i don't even know where to start. I've been out of work since January because of a back injury; once i came back about 6 months later i ended up quitting because i had more or less been replaced. My self-esteem is in the toilet right next to my mental health. I try and put on a brave face; focus on taking care of my son and keeping my wife happy; but deep down inside, I'm fucking livid. Every day it's the same goddamn thing; and it hasn't been much better because of this goddamn virus. I clean, i play with my son and take care of him, i visit my parents, come home, put my son to sleep and end up lying awake until 5 in the morning because i cant sleep. I've been looking for a job but at this point; i don't think i'll end up finding one and that scares me. I feel like such a failure all the time; like maybe i should have blown my fucking head off back in high school. hell, some days i wish i did. But now I'm in too deep in a family way to even think about that. It feels like there just isn't a place for me anywhere, even amongst my friends I'm the odd man out. I started anti-depressants and so far it's taken the edge off; but it isn't enough.