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Feeling guilty for masterbating

Time Spent- 2h 5m
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I'm a woman whose husband is of average size "downstairs"... And he often ejaculates very quickly. And has a long refractory period- the amount of time it takes for him to get aroused again and maintain an erection. So if we want to do it twice in one day, it gets interrupted by his inability. So, sexually frustrated, I masturbated today. I've never felt what it feels like to be "full" of a man's penis... So I used a large sex toy for the first time ever. And I definitely felt satisfied and full... But now I just feel guilty that I left him out. Also because it drove me to watch porn, which is disrespectful to him on so many levels. I'd hate it if he watched porn and masterbated without me knowing. And what's worse, is that he's super honest with me and would definitely tell me if he struggled with that- especially because he has in the past and told me immediately. So should I tell him? What do I do as a solution to my sexual frustration? I'm sad because I don't want to be stuck in a less than satisfying situation, but I also don't want to break his heart or his ego or his trust.





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