I have never wed before nor have I been engaged and I am about to be married to my love. However, lately things have been really hard, miserable really. I have tried really hard to understand and take responsibility but it seems like my partner gets angry for so little, and puts so much weight into the bad things. It’s like if I work long and push dinner a bit, I’m a monster who didn’t consider time and effort etc. I try to reason to talk, but my partner becomes angrier. I was shoved last weekend.
I started reading about this gaslighting, after searching some keywords about how I’m feeling. I am not a stupid nor bad man, far from perfect though, but I feel like I’m going crazy lately like I’m on another planet... trying to justify her large anger at me for something like leaving a piece of the food that she cooked for lunch to have for dinner because I was full, then it’s “i never eat her cooking and it always goes to waste”...which is not the case. Then I try to plead my case, tell her that she doesn’t need to infer that from my small (bad?) action. Then she starts saying that She’s a bitch (I have not ever used that word towards her, but I have been told to kill myself, to fuck off and etc), playing the victim and calling me out that I’m always making her out like the bad person.
woof as I wrote those words I felt the need to also say that she is great otherwise and of course that’s why we are together but I feel like I’m losing my damn mind! Thanks for reading.