I just need advice. Me and my partner have been together for almost 9 years now. We always had a very healthy sex life, until recently. I've been trying to get him to have sex with me lately and sometimes he will. But most of the time I find out hes been watching porn and masturbating instead of having sex with me. Like last night. I showered, then he said he wanted to shower. So I told him okay. I'll be up in bed waiting for you. (Which is our code for, I want to have sex). But he got out the shower, masturbated, and then came up to sleep. Would barely even cuddle with me. I've gained some weight after these 9 years, especially since we had a child together. So maybe he just isnt attracted to me anymore. I give him everything he desires sexually. I'm pretty adventurous in bed. So why would he rather, watch people have sex then actually have sex with me?
6 months ago
Re: Feeling unwanted
I am a 43 man and I understand him. I feel something similar. I got boring, my wife gained a lot of weight, she is not longer so attractive to me after 12 years and 2 kids. And she always has reproaches and demands, I am so tired of all the pressures of work and life, and then she comes and demands to talk about problems and ask for attention and things to do that I hate.
I prefer to say yes to all, not argue and talk as little as possible. For sex, it is the same way: avoid contact. It is much more easy, less pressure, to quickly masturbate with some direct porn. For me, sex is about to express love, not just a need of the body. That is why he dont even cuddle with you, neither do I.
(I am so depressed in fact, I cant even masturbate, cause I feel like my life is totally useless and worthless).