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...Feeling vent out...

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  1. I want to share exactly how I feel. I am an introvert with extremely low self confidence. I am ugly, ungraceful, ungrateful, mediocre, and a cribber. I have developed deep hatred for myself over the years. I am depressed and I am turning toxic to myself. I was bullied as a child. I am always unkempt. I can't seem to think why anyone could like me. I can't share my true self with my friends. I get depressed all the time. I have hirsutism and I can't even get my checkup done. My parents are always fighting. There are abuses, harm etc in their fight. They love me and want the best for me but their fights hurt me like hell. I Hate slang words. I won't go into details of their marriage bcoz they are not bad people, just not suited to one another. Why don't they get a divorce. They want me to achieve something in life and I am a complete good for nothing mediocre. I don't know how to achieve anything. I intentionally remain in my room all day with a facade that I am studying for my entrances but that's a complete lie. I don't think I can ever achieve anything in life. My parents fight even more because of me. Whenever I am hurt, I intentionally hurt everyone around me and it only aggravates the situation even further. I don't know how to get out of this vicious circle. I seriously think I need therapy but I can't ask for it bcoz I live in a conservative society where depression means nothing and is a sign of weekness. Everyone in my family is an achiever and I am a loser. I don't know where to vent out my feelings. I can't tell anyone how I feel and I can't improve the situation. I want to feel happy and I want to achieve something in life. My entrance is around the corner and I stand nowhere. I will defeat and I don't have it in me to face it. Please suggest something to me. Please help. Pleasee...




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