I'm 18 I got married a month ago. I love my husband. He's in the Army. I feel like I'm too much to handle with my constant battles in my brain. I feel like everything I do and say is wrong. I don't know how to be ok. I don't know how to feel ok. Like I said I love my husband but I feel like he deserves someone who is not as messed as I am. I feel like I'm being selfish like I should be saying that I'm ok even when I know I'm not. I want to express my feelings but I don't know how to actually communicate correctly due to past trauma. I want to be the absolute best for my husband. I want what's best for my husband even if that means giving him up. I don't want to leave him but I feel like shit due to constantly not being ok.