Find a way to reconnect. Talk to him. Family counselor. I married my best friend. Over 35 yrs. then she just dumped me. We had kids so I can’t wish away the past. We’re it not for the kids I’d been better off not marrying her. She made me change all my plans & go in lots of debt.
However; about a yr after marriage I had to force her to do something she didn’t want to do. It saved her life. So I can’t undo our marriage because she would have died. She’s a better person than me. I love her more than me. So I’m glad I married her even if it caused me to have no retirement to speak of; no home; no savings, & no hope really.
If no kids I’d say better to end it before then. My wife caused us all grief. Stress without me made her new health issue become very serious & she may die. I got a blood infection in nasty place rented & damaged my transplant organ so I’ll probably be dead in a yr. 3 if I’m amazingly lucky. Healthy kids had been so happy. Autistic son got so stressed had seizures. Almost died. Lots of meds. Trying to learn to walk again. Daughter on meds & live with grandparents. Youngest in fights at school till she let me see him & calm him.
If you can’t love him now then realize kids put much more stress on marriage. When women divorce they just assume kids will be fine. But unless dad physically abusive the kids suffer; especially boys. Most male criminals went thru that.
You have to decide for yourself. But you quickly find loneliness. This isn’t you of course. But my mom; sister; & a sister of wife went thru endless marriages & men. Two still are. They endlessly still complain. Every man was to blame. It never occurred to them that if your divorced. The man remarried & stayed married for 20-50 yrs & is still married; but you’ve married 5-7 times & are again divorced then your the problem. My point is see if you contribute to the problems. If so change.
My wife’s mom move by her. I go over there & mom yell at me. My wife visit 7 days a wk. Come home & yell at me. Then wonder why I stop talk to her.