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Finding Sexuality

I am a boy (17). I have an year old sister. My parents did not allow me to make much friends. At home i had only my sister and a cousin( girl) to play with. After coming from school I had no contact with any man except my father who used to come at night (8pm) so very less convo.. i was attached with my mother from the very childhood and my aunt too. As a 2-3 ye old i wore my sister's clothings at home when she went to school. I had no interest in listening songs or watching movies so I saw what my sister or (girl) cousin saw. I grew up listening and watching girlish songs, daily soaps, playing games which are girlish (like barbie or role play) I used to imitate my female teachers at home by wearing my mother's sandals. I remember wearing makeup 2-3 times and my mom's or sister's cloths 2-3 times. My cousins and friends used to call me girl! I did not like it at all but did not resist it either. I used to dance like girls I have seen on tv on those songs! But I also used to imitate some masculine gods from our mythology. I used to imitate super man. Though I did not specifically liked watching all those movies. But I liked to be a hero saving the world! As I got into puberty my cousin (boy) used to lay me on bed and kiss me on neck and suck my neck ( a love bite I guess) for very long times. I was embarrassed and after 2-3 times I started avoiding him. Then came the point in my life when I used to look at older boys and get attracted to them and stimulate my penis on male fantasies. I avoided looking at bikini girls in movies etc as it was against the values of my family. I did not have much male friends. At school too I took part in sports but due to my effeminate ways I resisted and used to just sit in order to avoid any comment! I had a few sexual fantasies and touching rubbing grabbing with my sister. With a fear of committing incest i resisted sleeping with her! I also had a crush on a girl. I have crushes on guys too. Some days I feel more attracted to guys some days to girls! I am very confused. When I watch porn films, two thoughts continue in my head, when a boy embraces a girl's body parts I imagine him embracing mine and I too imagine my hand going over girl's body. During early adolescence I used to search for naked pictures of male celebrities. And masturbate to them. Sometimes I think I am gay but when other males are actually around me I feel little to no attraction. Only in fantasies I get attracted to them same with females too. With a spectrum of sexualities I am unable to find suitable for me! Plz help

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Re: Finding Sexuality

I liked all this when I was small. Now I dont like all that stuff. Now the problem is only with fantasies! Those I think are wrong. But as you said. I will have to accept it. Moreover may be I am sexually fluid. And thanx a lot for taking time to answer me. I m feeling good about it now. Everybody is unique. We can not force ourselves into labels ! Thanx a lottt

Happy you found my advice helpful. You’re a young person and your whole life is ahead of you. Don’t say that you are wrong. Being attracted to people of the same or opposite gender is l fine. There is no right or wrong - it’s how you are. Focus on developing your talent. The right support will find you.

Guess what. You have a full understanding of who you are as a person and that’s more than most people could ever hope for in a lifetime. Don’t worry about the labels. You have to love yourself first and believe in who you are. There is no label for any single human being on the planet.


We feed ourselves in the labels but in reality we should simply enjoy this wonderful gift that is life. I like the fact that you like to wear make up and dress up in women’s clothing. It might be that you have a great deal of creative energy and you’re trying to express yourself by taking on new roles. You should try go into an acting school, doing some modelling, or if you would like to learn a trade like how to let cosmetology or hairdressing so that you could actually make a lot of money if you are very good at it.


You have to love yourself first and believe in who you are. There is no label for any single human being on the planet. We feed ourselves in the labels but in reality we should simply enjoy this wonderful gift that is life. I like the fact that you like to wear make up and dress up in women’s clothing. It might be that you have a great deal of creative energy and you’re trying to express yourself by taking on new roles.


You should try go into an acting school, doing some modelling, or if you would like to learn a trade like how to let cosmetology or hairdressing so that you could actually make a lot of money if you are very good at it. Might also want to try fashion design. Could start your own fashion empire right now from your smart phone. So get a digital and start drawing.