Finding connection is extremely difficult for me. I care about people a lot. I reach out. I misclassify relationships and end up shooting myself in the face in the process. I find myself distancing myself from everyone in an attempt to take myself away from the situation. And with the pandemic it's given me a good time to do that better. Recently I've tried reaching out to family and people I consider family to re-establish a sense of community. It's helping. We need connection. I've accepted that now. I just need to find healthy ways to seek that out. And it's trial and error. If I can't get myself to wade through the muck I'm never going to make it out. I have to keep trying. And I have to learn when not to.