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Frustrated, for sure.

Been married 5 years, I love my wife and want to be with her. She has never been very physical, and thats ok. I knew that. But over the past few years she has put on weight and her self confidence is gone. I try and try to boost it, but she is not having it. She does not feel sexy, and she is "disgusted" with her body. So as a result we no longer have sex, or any kind of physical release. Its been 3 months. Before that it was 5. On the rare chance we do get intamate in any way it feels forced and awkward. So now I have found myself looking into dating apps or some way I can have casual sex, and thinking more and more about how I can pull it off. Its crazy. I love her right, but its becomming an obsession. She wont talk about it with me. So what am I supposed to do? For now I just masturbate like crazy and try to supress the idea of cheating on her, but at what point will it get to be too much and I end up doing something stupid. Idk. Its a lot. Anyway... I mean what the hell. I know I am not the only one to experience this, but where else can I write it? I needed to get it out. Thanks for listening internet

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Re: Frustrated, for sure.

I can really sympathize with your wife. I have had this exact experience with my love. Although some part in not feeling sexy, I discovered i am asexual.

I will say that if you feel like cheating, its best just to get a divorce, before you do anything.

Try talking to her about an open relationship, who knows she might be feeling the same way about you.

Either way she deserves honesty and if you made a vow, she should be the first to know if you want to break it. Even if it turns out ugly, you'll show her you respect her.