So like my third time writing here 😃 these days have been shit i hate it so much. I try to have a conversation with my friends you know through chats since like you know social distancing and shit they just leave me on read. Knowing i wanna kill myself knowing that i have things bothering me. They tell me to open up but like when i do they just pass it off like saying mood or like they just leave me on read so how exactly am I supposed to open up? What if by the time you are done ignoring my FUCKING ASS I already did something stupid out of what me losing my fucking senses what will they fucking do? I just wanted to have the conversation i try to start keep going on cause i wanna enjoy my time make me have a reason to continue this thing called life and talk to me knowing i miss them so much. But what did i get instead just left alone now i feel so worthless i feel like a was just a fucking joke to them someone they can just replace in a snap. I know I’m fucking clingy for being like this but like me being clingy is how i show my tolerance for you. I talk to them in hopes they talk back it feels like I’m talking to a fucking wall and shit i even feel like I’m slowly losing my mind. I feel even as if they don’t want me anymore and just threw me away like a piece of gum. And now I’m having thoughts on doing something stupid.