tw suicidal thoughts and self harm, abuse?
i cant wait to leave. im 15. i need to hold on and not fucking kill myself for another three years and then i can live. i can really truly live and see the world and have the life i want. a good one. where im happy. one without my parents. one where i dont have to worry about them hitting me for the smallest thing, theyve never done it but threaten to constantly, and its getting worse. i know my dad has hit my brothers in the past, he hit me one time but that was when i was little. im scared he'll do it again. i dont even know whether i should feel bad for my mom or not, she married an asshole and now has four kids to raise. at the same time though shes the main one responsible for me hating myself and wanting to die, and my history with self harm. i want to fucking hurt myself so bad but when i was doing better in january i threw out my blades, i havent been able to get my hands on new ones since. i just want to escape.