Basically, inflicting and feeling pain turns me on. Especially blood and cutting.
This most likely started due to my history with self harm.
Not only do i like inflicting physical pain but also emotional pain.
I know that the way I treated two of my ex's classifies as emotional abuse.
I love it when people feel pain because of me. I also love feeling pain.
I have a need for feeling wanted, and dependent on. I need power over others. I love knowing that i have the ability to tear someone apart.
Im not sure when all of this got intertwined with my sexual turn on's, but it did.
And I know all of this isnt normal. At all.
I have self control to a certain degree, id never hurt someone I care about or respect. But I could.