Gaslighting or narcissistic

Time Spent- 39m
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When I was like about 7 or so my brother who is only 3 years older than me kinda sexually assaulted me? I don’t know what it’s called. He licked my privates when he thought I was sleeping and I confronted him right afterwards. But I didn’t understand what that was. I think we mutually decided to forget it and I did for a few years. Then a couple months ago the thought just came back again and I occasionally think about it and it kind of haunts me. I don’t know if this just a memory I made up or something that actually happened. My memory has been always good but I don’t know if I’m gaslighting myself or I’m just a narcissist looking for attention. I can’t go to sleep sometimes without crying. Nothing has happened after that incident but I can’t help but feel like it was a trauma that I didn’t understand