so i was in my elementary school when my so called "classmates" started bullying me for having an uneven eye. at first i just cried and didn't tell my parents about it cause i feel embarrassed. mostly the boys in my school is the one who often bully me. they will tell me hateful words,they will bully my eye and appearance,they will snatch things from my bag and pretend that they're not the one who stole it,even if I tried to beg them to take my things back they will just laugh and continue to bully my uneven eye. i didn't know what to do,to be honest.
im scared that one day,im gonna hate myself for having an appearance like this.
but it happens anyways,now i hated myself. years have past,the bully's did not go. I suffered since i was in my elementary to high school. but this time,i don't know myself. I'm always angry at my siblings,i always hated spending time with my family. I don't know how to speak and stand up for myself. I just can't do it.
it causes me so much anxiety, depression. It made me feel horrible, anxious. Im slowly losing interest to live. i just exist but does not enjoy my life. but i don't wanna die and i don't wanna live. its super complicated. i think i just can't accept the fact that no matter how suicidal or depress i am,no one will ever come and comfort me, reminding me that im worth it. i feel sorry for myself,she doesn't have to feel this way. Im too young to be this sad. i sick of it,yet idk what to do to find hope.