whats the point of life? genuinely - i mean, who actually wants to LIVE for 100 years ?? "you should be grateful to even have such a chance at living" uhh.. bye im so bored and im going to be doing this shit for the next god knows how many years of my life after this?? nah. no fuckin way no thanks. it's all so boring, laying around, being fat, having the only thing talked about in your household be politics or some other bullshit, your ex thriving while you're in one of your most shitty depressional episodes, i fuckin hate it here. motherfucker's going around telling everyone i was the toxic one when they were more than me? it's not fair. all my friends are probably also having the time of their lives without me, i havent really talked to anyone in months, i go back to school pretty soon and it's just absolute bullshit. im so bad at math, i havent had the motivation to do really anything, im stuck in my room because of my stupid deranged thoughts and everything is just crashing down on me. im so conflicted, i feel like calling myself a walking contradiction. i tell myself i dont need them (my ex), but then i go and cry about how i want them back and beg and pray for the universe to make them come back. they're slowly moving on though, i know and i can tell very well. i call bullshit. why cant they just come back? why couldnt i have just kept my fucking mouth shut and let it all go? everything would have and couldve been better if they were still with me. i cant believe theyre gone. hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah im in immense pain lol !!!!!!!