I don't want to live but I don't want to hurt anyone my family is the best thing I have I want to run away to a small town where no one knows me and start again I have been wanting to kill myself since I was 12, why can't I just do it? I have to bear with this pain everyday I won't be studying what I want to study because I don't want to dissapoint my family I want so many things that I can't do because I'm so useless, I'm fat and disgusting and even that I only eat once a day and less than 1000Cal I'm still fat as fuck, I want someone to love me and to tell me that everything would be okay, but I'm just so mean with everyone because I'm scared of dissapointing them, I don't have friend and I don't know how to make them, god I can't even maintain a proper conversation. God I don't even know if you exist but I pray everyday just so you can take me away please make me disappear without hurting everyone