6 months ago
Time Spent- 1h 3m
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I've been dealing with depression for about 3 years. Im 15 now. My life is a hot mess. My parents havent even talked to me properly for many days. I just want to stop disappointing people. In my country Nepal, depression and other mental illnesses are still a taboo. So I'm afraid of seeking help. Along with depression i also have anxiety, trichotillomania and intermittent explosive intermittent explosive disorder.

My parents cant go a day without fighting. There's always something going on between my mum and my grandparents. there is so much tension between the members of my family. My grades are low as ever. I feel like a disgrace. I want to die but i dont want to kill myself.i dont know if that even makes sense. but now i feel angry and sad all the time. i dont want my parents to feel guilty which is inevitable if i kill myself. i just want to die of a disease. this way my parents will know that they did everything they could.

anyways, i think about suicide everyday. my sadness is consuming me. i will kill myself soon. i just want to say to anyone who is reading this, dont give up, dont make the same mistake im going to make. but if it is too much, you have every right to do so. Goodbye.

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6 months ago

Re: goodbye

Hi there. It must have been difficult for you but there's still so much things you haven't done. Please live on. You have struggled and made it this far and that is an achievement. Even writing this must have been tough but you did it.

Please seek help and do not feel ashamed of yourself because you are not alone in this. You can find a Nepal helpline number on this article https://kathmandupost.com/national/2020/01/21/for-those-having-suicidal-thoughts-helplines-offer-an-empathic-ear-and-emotional-support

Please don't give up.

Hey! don't think of negative stuffs in your mind. If such thing makes you feel sad, try doing something creative and make yourself engaged in some kind of activities. Its just the phase of life to think of such stuffs bro, don't let that get over you.