This a letter for my grandpa.
hey grandpa, im sorry i can't meet your expectations. but you have to understand that im trying my best and its hard for me to push myself harder right now. i got diagnosed with depression and anxiety à few years ago, i wasn't surprised to say the least, but it made me feel awful about myself.
grandpa, i miss you. i wish you could come back even if its for a few seconds.. i sometimes have the urge to join you up there, but i dont because im scared of what my family will go through..
its not fun feeling like this, i constantly feel like my life is slowly shattering right before my eyes. why? because of me. because of society. because of my parents. because of my appearance. because of the hateful comments i get about my body. because of the things iv had to go through. because of the fact that i had to grow up so fast, im only 14 and i want to die already. i hate it, i goddamn hate it! i wanna leave!