When I was 9 or 10, I was using the toilet and the family dog came up and licked my genitals, seemingly just out of curiosity or something. It led to a years long addiction to having the dog lick me there, especially when I was feeling depressed or numb. The guilt it makes me feel that I did those things makes me feel completely disgusting. I literally can't forgive myself for it. The last couple weeks I haven't even been able to masturbate without feeling intense guilt over what I did.
You need to forgive yourself. I agree with you that you should try not to do that anymore. But it is okay. You are not a horrible person. You were just a child when you started, and you can do things different now. Hating yourself is not the answer. Forgiveness is. You are carrying a weight around that you done need to. Neither God, nor your family, nor your dog would want you to torture yourself. Make the decision to let the guilt go.