guys please help me with this idk what to do.

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i often feel like im trapped in a body and feel like i wasnt meant to actually be alive. i have so many depressing and anxious moments and my family always makes me feel like im faking it, making me feel bad about who i am. im really scared of my mother who i think, although she is very loving and nice, there is this constant anger and stress which she takes out on me, accusing me of doing bad things like smoking or sending nudes (which ive never done), hitting, slapping or pulling my hair, yelling at me in public spaces and with my friends, making people look weird at me. i honestly feel like i cant do anything and like i wont get into the school i want because im too stupid, and she always agrees, saying im going to be a porn star and what i actually want to do is ridiculous because i am incapable and dont have the talent. her boyfriend often agrees with her and calling me names.(there are many more things she does but ive already written too much) i really dont know what to do because i dont know if this is abuse or not and i dont want to foster care. please can someone give me a piece of advice? im a girl,14.

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