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haha yikes ;^

so im dating this guy, i miss him, i really do, when i think of him i cry, i cant help it sometimes, when we started dating it was so good, but now... i dont even know what to call it, we dont even talk to each other like that anymore, he thinks i dont know about the other girl, he really stopped me from living my eternal sleep just for him to cheat and not even talk to me, we dont talk about our feelings anymore, it hurts me, it really fucking does, but i cant say that, he’ll use it against me, what do i do, im stuck, i cant leave, i need help, help me, why is it so hard, why am i crying, my throat hurts, my head hurts, i dont make noise when i cry, he knows i have problems, i am his problem, but when i try to end it he stops me for some reason, he calls me crying saying he loves me, what is love to you when you love someone else, i feel like im in a dream rn, the last i love you we ever said to eachother was 1 months ago, days go so fast, in a couple months its gonna be a year for me and him, i dont know how long he’s been dating her, im sure he’s happy, hey (i cant say his name) if ur reading this, i fucking hate you.